On feeling beautiful

Sometimes it takes a lot to feel beautiful. Because that day when you got in your car to go run your errands, and you got to the library, those boys whistled at you, and you felt ugly. And then when you got to the grocery store, you walked in, and the cashier stared at you, and asked how old you were and smiled, you felt unwanted. And when the boy in your life that you wanted to whistle and smile at you… When he told you that you were beautiful, you felt used. Because after he told you you were beautiful, he told you he wanted more.
You told him no.
You walked away.
And suddenly, you felt strong. You felt powerful. You felt wanted, because you chose yourself. You felt beautiful.


Being Alone Is Powerful, And Other Truths

Thought Catalog

Good intentions don’t excuse bad behavior.

You will always enjoy yourself less when you have planned for it.

Grief has no solution. Let it be.

Not forgiving someone destroys you more than it destroys them.

Sometimes there are no amount of encouraging words to pull someone out of the sheer exhaustion and melancholy of being alive.

People see you the most when you don’t want to be seen at all.

Honest laughs must be drawn out until all the air is gone. Like a balloon.

Panic attacks exist to make you think your life is wrong.

It is nearly impossible to maintain a close friendship when one person is depressed and the other is not.

Not really knowing someone is what makes a life look interesting. Like when the movie trailer is better than the movie.

If you need them to care more than they do, it won’t happen. Ever.

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Why Hope Matters

Thought Catalog

Hope is not optimism. The two are closely related but are still distinguishable from each other. I think optimism is seeing the proverbial glass as half-full. I think hope is being able to see the good or expect goodness even when the glass is indeed half-empty or in situations where there is no glass at all. Both are important – optimism and hope – but I think hope is the more important of the two.

In a fallen world, hope, like faith, is often the hardest thing to hold onto especially when you need it the most. As a person of faith, hope is not just something I harbor in terms of believing that everything that happens, simply just happens. Nor do I believe that it is within my capacity to be able to deal with all of life’s uncertainties in the limited concept of human reasoning.

I don’t believe…

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It really is all about perspective.

Life is an ongoing competition, that, when put into perspective, has no finish line. No one wins. I’m not talking spiritual. Forget that for right now.

So why do we have such a competitive nature?

I’m not a competitive soul. It’s a contrast to a lot of people I know.

Especially you.

I’m not really sure what happened, but somewhere along there we both lost ourselves. I knew all along you wouldn’t win, but I don’t like that word anyway. I knew all along this wasn’t your time.  I knew all along it would soon be your time. Just not this time.

We both worked hard. Really hard.

We both wanted it. Really bad.

We are both hard on ourselves. Really hard.

That makes us a good team. 🙂

I know I won. But I don’t like to use that word. I still need you, and your time will come.

I only have one regret.

I wish that I would have told you that your time would come, but not this time.

I thought you knew that already, but you didn’t.

I’m really sorry.

I know how dedicated you are, and I heard you talk about it all the time. I led you on. I never talked about it. I only talked about you. But I was dedicated, and I did want to talk about it. I deserve this. It’s my time. I know that.

I’m glad I got the chance to speak to you. The words I said to you were the words you needed to hear.

Sometimes the journey ends up being a bit longer than we expect. But the journey isn’t over. Keep working hard, take time to grow, and you’ll get there. I know you will. I’m excited for your future, and I know you will be amazing. This isn’t the end. You didn’t lose. You didn’t fail. You picked yourself back up, and you are already on your way. It really is all about perspective.

Everything is always going

Do you ever have a day when everything seems to go wrong?

Yesterday I had one of those days. I lost hope for a while, and I was frustrated and upset.

Do you ever have a day when everything seems to go right?

Today is one of those days…  today I feel happy and relieved and excited and hopeful and blessed and thankful and calm and so much more.

When I wake up in the morning, I don’t know what the day might bring. But even if it ends up going badly, it’s going. It’s always going. If today isn’t going right, just wait for tomorrow. Whatever you do, whatever you feel, don’t let yourself stop going.



A continuous area or expanse that is free, available, or unoccupied

“Give me space,” you told me.

Well, I like to think of it that way. It’s a little less harsh than what you actually said. But I know what you meant.

Two weeks ago, I was your savior. I kept you going. I was your light.

Today, I am nothing. You don’t want to hear from me, or see me, or even read my words. So you won’t see this.

Space is so vague. That’s almost redundant. What kind of space do you need?

Do you need me to disappear from your life completely?

Or can I still try to help you?

You need my help.

Let me help you.

50 Ways To Love Someone

Thought Catalog

1. Accept them for who they are right now.

2. Be nonjudgmental.

3. Do something to help them see their own potential.

4. Be selfless.

5. Make their happiness your own.

6. Write them a letter and tell them how much you care.

7. Be where they go to when their soul needs soothing.

8. Cook them a meal.

9. Show any little act of kindness, really.

10. Listen to them.

11. Forgive them.

12. Cry with them.

13. Visit their family.

14. Go for a long car ride and get to the point where you don’t have to fill up every second with conversation.

15. Never stop reminding them how you feel.

16. Believe in them.

17. Make their dreams your own.

18. Always be honest about how you’re feeling.

19. Be loyal to them.

20. If ever you’re not able to do that, be honest about it.


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Silence Your Self-Doubt

Thought Catalog

You have to cut out the noise of self-doubt. The first person that you have to convince that you are capable of what you deserve, and what you want, is yourself. Too often we fall into the paralysis of thinking one failed attempt at something is evidence of inadequacy. Even worse, sometimes we cease to attempt things because we think we are not good enough. Replace that “I can’t” that you so often hear, with a voice that says “I will.” Work harder, work smarter, learn from your failures, learn from constructive criticism, and keep fighting for what you want.

You have to cut out the noise of regret. I don’t remember where I heard this from, but there is a saying that goes, “Regrets are a waste of time, things in the past crippling you in the present.” We have all said and done things that we are not…

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Why I Have Faith

Thought Catalog

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

We all have faith in something – whether it’s God, science, institutions, ideologies, and/or our own conceptions of the world, we have faith. Faith is often seen as something in the religious domain and it has been so traditionally. I identify with this domain as a person of faith. And being a person of faith, I often find that people believe that faith is concrete and secure and straightforward. But in my experience, it doesn’t work like that.

Faith is hard work, as my mother would say. Most people don’t wake up and suddenly have it although I suppose that is possible through divine intervention. Faith, however, is a practice and a habit like many things one can embody. Faith is also having to place your trust in the knowledge…

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Thought Catalog

Earlier, Matt Sacaro, wrote a piece Why I Wish I Could Be Religious. I loved the piece because it seemed like a sincere perspective by the author and one that I can appreciate. However, with great respect to the author, I have to disagree with what seems like a misguided assumption of what it means to be religious or a person of faith. I can’t speak for all persons of faith, I never have and I never will, because in the first place as institutional as religion can be, it is also a very personal experience.

I was born and raised Catholic and continue to be a practicing Catholic; the likelihood is that I will die one. My parents have gone to daily mass for as long as I can remember, they were always involved in church in one way or the other, and to this day, they are…

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