Wherever we may be now

There she was. Dark hair and green eyes, unique features, a natural beauty. It’s as if our friendship was only a dream. We had our highs and lows. So close, yet so far, but yet somehow…closer than ever before. The year before it ended. We never really talked anymore. She’d come sit down in the row next to me, and get on her computer. I’d occasionally ask her something, or she me. But no real conversation. Nothing to talk about. Sitting behind me, she’d play with my hair or reminisce. We had memories. But they’re almost long gone. We parted ways, and that’s just how it was going to be. I can’t help but know that I will always feel the connection. And that’s just how it is.

There we were. Two peas in a pod. It was a tight fit too, not much room for breathing. Yet it felt so natural, and we were so alive. For a couple years, I was convinced we were soul mates. The best of friends that friends could be. And no matter what had broken us, it would only make us stronger. And for a while there, it did. But the hurt became too much. We never had the energy to heal. It never clicked back, and we drifted our separate ways. And now you go here, and I go there, and our paths cross every once and a while. But we don’t notice, or at least we try really hard not to. And I usually laugh, but then I cry. Because that’s just how it was going to be. I can’t help but know that I will always hear the memories. And that’s just how it is.

There we all were. Laughter and constant silliness, stupidity really, filled the air. We really lightened up that heavy air. And they did more than we did, but when we did… those were the best days of my life. I wouldn’t say we were the closest. But we were close. We laughed and cried together a few times. That’s close in my book. And we could really get along, and I could really trust us, and I could really count on us to brighten up my day. But then that day came when you went there, and you went here, and we went there. And so maybe we stayed close, but we drifted apart. And that’s just how it was going to be. I can’t help but know that I will always miss us. And that’s just how it is.

There we were. Or maybe here we are. I can’t really tell anymore. We became such a part of me, I almost feel like you are here with me anyway. But if you are there, and I am here, and that’s how it’s going to be, then I want you to know that all the other “we’s” and “us’s” in my life… well, it won’t be as heartbreaking as me without you. You promised me you’d try to be here with me, and maybe you are, but if you aren’t, I miss you, and I won’t be able to do it without you for a while. But when I get used to me… without you… I want you to know that I am a person. I am so real, and I can do it. I’m not helpless, and I’m not spastic, and I’m not worried, and I’m not anxious. I am content. I am happy. I lose my temper on occasion. But I trust, and I know everything will be okay. And all the other parts of me that I miss, and that I remember- well, I cherish those parts of me, and I smile upon them. I don’t talk to them anymore. I don’t talk to you anymore. But that’s just how it was going to be. And that’s just the way it is.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s