Here I go again. Take three.

I’m hitting that point. I’m falling. I’m sending him so many red flags. I’m creating apathy that doesn’t exist. I’m exploding and breaking inside as if.. Just because it happened last time, and the time before… It is bound to… And is… Happening again. I’m going insane. It’s all in my head. He still cares. He tells me. All the time!
Is it me? Do I still care? Or am I just trying to convince myself that I do?
I’m having a really hard time trying to figure this out.
If he were smart, he’d leave me, right now, before things get worse. But if he were smarter, he would push through and do everything he can to prove that we belong. I need him to help me be strong. But I’m losing faith.
Not again.