On feeling beautiful

Sometimes it takes a lot to feel beautiful. Because that day when you got in your car to go run your errands, and you got to the library, those boys whistled at you, and you felt ugly. And then when you got to the grocery store, you walked in, and the cashier stared at you, and asked how old you were and smiled, you felt unwanted. And when the boy in your life that you wanted to whistle and smile at you… When he told you that you were beautiful, you felt used. Because after he told you you were beautiful, he told you he wanted more.
You told him no.
You walked away.
And suddenly, you felt strong. You felt powerful. You felt wanted, because you chose yourself. You felt beautiful.


Being Alone Is Powerful, And Other Truths

Thought Catalog

Good intentions don’t excuse bad behavior.

You will always enjoy yourself less when you have planned for it.

Grief has no solution. Let it be.

Not forgiving someone destroys you more than it destroys them.

Sometimes there are no amount of encouraging words to pull someone out of the sheer exhaustion and melancholy of being alive.

People see you the most when you don’t want to be seen at all.

Honest laughs must be drawn out until all the air is gone. Like a balloon.

Panic attacks exist to make you think your life is wrong.

It is nearly impossible to maintain a close friendship when one person is depressed and the other is not.

Not really knowing someone is what makes a life look interesting. Like when the movie trailer is better than the movie.

If you need them to care more than they do, it won’t happen. Ever.

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Why Hope Matters

Thought Catalog

Hope is not optimism. The two are closely related but are still distinguishable from each other. I think optimism is seeing the proverbial glass as half-full. I think hope is being able to see the good or expect goodness even when the glass is indeed half-empty or in situations where there is no glass at all. Both are important – optimism and hope – but I think hope is the more important of the two.

In a fallen world, hope, like faith, is often the hardest thing to hold onto especially when you need it the most. As a person of faith, hope is not just something I harbor in terms of believing that everything that happens, simply just happens. Nor do I believe that it is within my capacity to be able to deal with all of life’s uncertainties in the limited concept of human reasoning.

I don’t believe…

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It really is all about perspective.

Life is an ongoing competition, that, when put into perspective, has no finish line. No one wins. I’m not talking spiritual. Forget that for right now.

So why do we have such a competitive nature?

I’m not a competitive soul. It’s a contrast to a lot of people I know.

Especially you.

I’m not really sure what happened, but somewhere along there we both lost ourselves. I knew all along you wouldn’t win, but I don’t like that word anyway. I knew all along this wasn’t your time.  I knew all along it would soon be your time. Just not this time.

We both worked hard. Really hard.

We both wanted it. Really bad.

We are both hard on ourselves. Really hard.

That makes us a good team. 🙂

I know I won. But I don’t like to use that word. I still need you, and your time will come.

I only have one regret.

I wish that I would have told you that your time would come, but not this time.

I thought you knew that already, but you didn’t.

I’m really sorry.

I know how dedicated you are, and I heard you talk about it all the time. I led you on. I never talked about it. I only talked about you. But I was dedicated, and I did want to talk about it. I deserve this. It’s my time. I know that.

I’m glad I got the chance to speak to you. The words I said to you were the words you needed to hear.

Sometimes the journey ends up being a bit longer than we expect. But the journey isn’t over. Keep working hard, take time to grow, and you’ll get there. I know you will. I’m excited for your future, and I know you will be amazing. This isn’t the end. You didn’t lose. You didn’t fail. You picked yourself back up, and you are already on your way. It really is all about perspective.